I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
