Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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