We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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