he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you didnt know i had herpes?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
