just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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