think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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