im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
pray to the hookup gods
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
