please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
