I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
