Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
