i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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