We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
