If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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