Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
