I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
