my sisters under your porch take her home
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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