nut hugger
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
