I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
