Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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