u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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