Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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