yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize