I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
