she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
