3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
