Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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