Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
