whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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