return my video game
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
