Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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