Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Pooping to opera.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
