Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
