there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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