I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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