That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
