I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm just crazy horny about you
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
