HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
smell my finger.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
