I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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