Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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