she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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