on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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