Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
