You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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