Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
