i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
