Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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