I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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