i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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