I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
