Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
