you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
