i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
50% drunk capacity currently
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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