kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Can I color on your dick again?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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