I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
