walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
