That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
