i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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