I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
